Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Don't you love when you get hit in the face with what God has been trying to tell you? Yeah, that just happened recently. You see, I love performing. It's a huge part of my heart, and it is how I connect with God. But once upon a time, I fell into the trap that I deserved to be performing, and that my gift was mine to give. It wasn't. It never was. And because of that thought process, I went through a serious of events that I call "my humility trial." Because I went through this, I can't think the same way I used to. I don't ever want to be that person again. I'm so thankful God guided me through that process, even though it was terribly hard, and I questioned a lot of what my talent consisted of. But as thankful as I am, God is really opening my eyes to the fear that I have of becoming that person. The fact of the matter is, I don't trust God enough in a sense, to keep me away from my prideful, arrogant self. As a result, I haven't been dreaming God's dreams. Letting Him guide my heart, and following. I believe that my dreams were God's first. I dream of performing. Dream of the moment on stage, with the spotlight on, singing my heart out to thousands of people. I don't care what area it's in: dance, theatre, or music. But I know that these specific things make my heart glad. I feel a sense of purpose, and I see areas that I can impact for God. So, now I find myself in a place where I feel like I'm starting over. Letting God lead, and take control. Trusting that He will provide, and that whatever lies ahead is His will. And that is where I want to dwell, in His will. And the best part is, I know I will love it. Such as simple realization that means more to me than ever before. God is so big, and He really will use the talents, that were never mine, to impact this world for His Glory. How cool is that? God is so good.