goldilocks jean visker

Well, tonight was rough. I came home to my dog wheezing on the floor with my mom. I immediately started sobbing, because Goldi has been with me too long. It's strange how animals can become one of the family. I knew that Goldi was getting old, but I didn't think it would come this soon. It was so strange coming back in the house and not having her here. My mom and I sobbed the whole way home. At least she's not in pain anymore, that's the only thing getting me through.

I love you Goldi, and you were so much more than just a dog. You were my sister, and my best friend. I could never have asked for a better dog. Thank you.

sibling love

So my brother has been home for the past week.

We took Goldi for a swim and spent some quality time together.
It rocked out loud.
I'm going to miss him beating me up, especially at Christmas, but I'm excited that he gets to do what he loves and fight for our country. Glad to say a final goodbye before deployment this weekend.
Here are some photos from swimming

sunday-sunday

I love sundays. church in the morning, homecooked food, homework, naps, and football :)
I love every other day in the week. Sometimes I forget how blessed I am. I am at an awesome school, with beautiful people, and working on God's will for my life. I love my life, because HE is in control. Nothing I can do can mess up His plan for me. He has made it attainable as well. I feel like people sometimes forget that God doesn't give us anything we can't handle, and that includes dreams. I've been realizing that, and just loving Him for it.

I love God. I love my life. I love God being in control, and me trusting Him all the way.

TRUST

I'm a dreamer

When I was little I wanted to be Britney Spears. I wanted to be on stage, and dance and sing, but people always told me that wasn't reality. But I always dreamed of the day I would be on stage, with everyone applauding my every move. I can't say my dream has changed much. Granted, I don't want to be Britney Spears, but I do want to be on stage. It's where I feel at home. My motive has changed for God's Glory. The funny thing is, that He believes in my dream, and He has made a path for me. I don't know where it goes, but I know that He has a plan. I'm sick of people dragging me back to down to reality. I don't know how I'm going to support myself, but I know that it will happen. I trust God. I don't understand why that isn't enough for people. Everyone tells me that I should have a back up plan, but isn't that just smacking God in the face? To me that's telling God that you don't trust His plan. And He knows better than any of us, so who are we to tell Him what we're doing with our life? I am willing to go down any path for His Glory. He's telling me that my dreams will bring Him glory. That is why I'm on stage. No other reason.
It gets hard when the people that mean the most to you drag you down, and tell you that your dream is impossible, and that they don't want you to get hurt. I don't want to live in this safe box. I want to break out of it, i'm sick of Christians not GOING. Jesus commanded us to GO! And that means moving. Not just sitting in church. I don't know what is going to happen with my dreams, but I know that God is in the midst of them. No one can bring me down. I will do His will, and keep living for the kingdom.

We must go
live to feed the hungry
stand beside the broken
we must go
stepping forward
keep us from just singing
move us into action
we must go.

fill us up, and send us out.

God bless.

Come Away With Me

Just got this sweet release from the Holy Spirit, and I'm starting to write songs. Don't have any music or have a clue how it goes, but the lyrics are there. Most of the lyrics are out of Song of Songs. God bless!


Come, take my hand, lets run away from it all
Take me to a place where we can be together

My beautiful God, you are mine!
Your left arm under my head, and your right embraces me
Arise my darling, and come away with me

How handsome you are my lover
Your banner over me is love
you have stolen my heart

My lover is radiant. I a crowd of 10,000, you are all i see
when i sleep i am awake, i'm so in love with you!

i'm falling harder and harder for you beautiful lover
i belong to you, and you are mine!
place me like a seal on your heart
for our love is strong and everlasting

come away with me
come away with me

Paul's Hardships

2 Corinthians 6:3-10

"We live in such a way that no one will stumble because of us, and no one will find fault with our ministry. In everything we do, we show that we are true ministers of God. We patiently endure troubles and hardships and calamities of every kind. We have been beaten, been put in prison, faced angry mobs, worked to exhaustion, endured sleepless nights, and gone without food. We prove ourselves by our purity, our understanding, our patience, our kindness, by the Holy Spirit within us, and by our sincere love. We faithfully preach the truth. God's power is working in us. We use the weapons of righteousness in the right hand for attack and the left hand for defense. We serve God whether people honor us or despise us, whether they slander us or praise us. We are honest, but they call us impostors. We are ignored, even though we are well known. We live close to death, but we are still alive. We have been beaten, but we have not been killed. Our hearts ache, but we always have joy. We are poor, but give spiritual riches to others. We own nothing, and yet we have everything."

Endurance.

ICTHUS

A group of friends from The Crossing in Goshen went to a christian music festival down in Kentucky. We joined a ministry from IWU called LOVESTORM, and we all volunteered to be alter ministers. Talk about an amazing experience. The music was loud, and the speakers were amazing, and God was definatly there. However, I really struggled with feeling second best to my fellow brothers and sisters. As a result of that, the last night, the speaker gave an alter call and 1,000 kids came to know Christ. Where was I? Sitting at my campsite. I came later on, and got to help send out some kids, but they had already accepted Christ. Satan definatly won that battle, and I felt defeated and worthless. I knew I went on this trip to get over the fear of ministering. That may seem like a foolish fear, but I really struggle with putting myself out there in the first place. So being an alter minister was a big stretch for me. So I went on feeling aweful throughout the night. That night we went to a band called "Sleeping Giant"(p.s. seriously amazing), and I just broke down, and Krista(awesome sister in Christ) was there. We went away, and once i composed myself, I told her about everything. How terrible I was feeling, and everything on top of that. So we prayed. She spoke on behalf of God, and He told me that He was delighted with me. That was so comforting..but He wanted me to take it a step further. I have been struggling my whole life with fear, of everything, and anything. So, I declared, then and there, "I will not be afriad anymore!" There's much more to the story, but God is now with me, and I have no reason to be afraid. My chains are gone. It's a beautiful thing. I guess the point of all this is to tell everyone that God can do anything. No task is too big or too small. And no matter what you're going through, He delights in you, and wants you to talk to Him about. He is so good. Now, I'm not saying the fear is completley gone. I still struggle with fear, but I can quote scripture and tell Satan to get away from me. I take comfort in knowing that God is with me. Victory in Jesus.